I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables me to laugh at life’s realities - Dr. Seuss

You got to know something is up when your manager[s] send you flowers and chocolates.

To whit, this morning, when I was called to the Programme Manager’s office. We were supposed to meet later in the day to review some material I had put together for him, and assumed he wanted to discuss this. On the desk in his office was a lovely arrangement of gerberas, roses and lilies in a clay pot, and some Cote D’or chocolates. I moved them out of the way when I sat down. Turns out they were for me. At first I assumed it was a belated birthday present - a fair assumption, given my birthday was this time last week. Then I read the card. Awfully gushy, thank you for turning down the job offer, we appreciate your energy, commitment, continuous drive and the fact that you always deliver a quality product and service. Hmmm. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it was really unnecessary. The bundle of cash they added to my annual package was enough

That’s right folks. I went for an interview elsewhere in the big corporate I work for on Tuesday last week, got an offer from them on Thursday, and turned it down yesterday morning. Getting a phone call from our General Manager on Sunday night kind of clinched the deal. She can be very persuasive, and well, money talks (I should probably not mention to them that I have another fish on the line, and that if I land this one, then it will be goodbye - no discussion. Hou dit tussen julle hoed en hare, ja?

Other than that I have had a fabulous birthday week. I was spoilt rotten, cards, flowers, chocolates, a R200 Exclusive Books voucher, a R1000 in unit trusts from my folks, maple syrup what not’s and a bottle of tequila from the actuary [he's just returned from a business trip to Mexico, Chile and Canada, several bottles of red wine - the list is endless. Had dinner with friends and family Friday night, drinks with friends and work colleagues on Saturday, and a family lunch on Sunday. I'm all birthday-ed out. It was one of the more memorable birthdays, which is good, because I am staying 33 forever

Sjoe.

Beyond that, what can I tell you? Only that I am in one of my existentialist fugues at the moment. I go through this at least once a month, you know, the whole why am I here, is this what life is about, what's the point states. I think it was brought on by the interview last week, when I was asked what my five and seven year plan is, career wise. I sprouted forth about opening my own consultancy, getting my first novel published and qualified it by saying, that's the dream, the reality is probably corporate drone for the next 30 years. And that depressed me no end. It's the same thought that runs through my head as I enter the parking garage every morning, and make my way up the twirly whirly to the 7th floor, to park. Pretty much the same thing happens when I leave in the evenings. This can't be what life is about, can it? Living on weekends, and after hours? Seeing your friends at protracted intervals [although seeing Ten Miles twice in one month is a record ] Surely there is more to it than that? What happened to living the dream? Of course, the other influence in this particular fugue is that I have started getting updates from the friend I mentioned a while ago, who has taken a year off work and is travelling through South America and Africa. Or KAB, who has taken the plunge and headed off to the UK to take on Rupert Murdoch. You see, I don’t have the guts to do this. I’m a security bunny. Job. Home.

I lead a small life. Incredibly small. My horizons don’t extend beyond —- in Cape Town for the most part. In fact, I some times wonder whether anyone would notice if I just disappeared. If I died tomorrow, would anyone actually notice? Care? Oh sure, my family I suppose, and my handful of really good friends. Those I work with, I suppose. But other than that? Not really. People look around or through me, mostly. Or that’s how I feel sometimes. I guess it comes down to the difference between living and existing. Some days, often, I wonder whether I’ll actually learn the difference. What makes life worth living after all? And will I ever find that elusive elixir?

Thanks to Da Mario for reminding me of this,  I loved this little guy and his attitude, in fact, I still do

Here.

Thank you for the beautiful flowers and the birthday wishes and the call - it brightened my day no end,  to know that you hadn’t forgotten, I can’t wait for you to come home, I miss you my friend.

Love ya always and forever

For me? Really?

You shouldn’t have!

In this order:

The Thomas Crown Affair

Jane Eyre

You’ve got mail

Possession

When Harry met Sally

French Kiss

Pride and Prejudice

Dirty Dancing

Shakespeare in love

Stage beauty

Pay it forward

Ten Miles does it again.

And I didn’t even have to pay him this time

Sonkind and Netjane started it.  Since they both failed to tag me, I thought I’d just muscle in on the action.

My favouritest sayings:

#1: There can be no happiness if what I do and what I believe, are different.

#2: Put on your big girl panties, and deal with it.

#3: I’ll be back [delivered in an Arnold-esque growl]

My birthday loometh.

In precisely 604 800 seconds from now I will a year older.  Not neccessarily wiser, but older, yes.

I guess this one is only to be enjoyed, since it is the last one I will be having.

Although I said that last year, and shucks, look what’s happened ….